Although it is possible for gay square dance clubs tolive in a world isolated from the rest of the square dance community, thesedays, few, if any, actually do. Yet how they interact with the local straightclubs and why is as complicated as the larger question of the place for gay menand lesbians in mainstream culture. But the answer to this question is hardly astatic one, and the answer today is a vastly different one than would have beengiven fifteen years ago.

These days, gay square dancing is a well known facet ofthe square dance community. Long gone are the days when the first IAGSDCConvention in ’84 had to beg for callers, and it took sending a form letter toupwards of 200 callers just to find two that would, someonewould have to be a hermit not to know that among the grays, browns andoccasional pastel colors that make up the square dance tapestry, that somevibrant lavender and pink swatches exist.

But this didn’t happen overnight.

The way that gay square dance clubs have evolved withrespect to their straight brethren in many ways reflects the way that gay menand lesbians interact with society in general. When the Capital City Squares of Sacramento wereformed back in 1981, the mere act of having name badges almost ripped the clubapart even though it only listed a first name. But this was also the era whenyou never gave your REAL name when you went to a gay social group (but it wasrequested as a matter of courtesy to give the SAME name each week). Moveforward to 1996, and the same Capitol City Squares have redesigned their namebadge to accommodate both a first and last name and many members are orderingthe new ones because they are Russ Marsh and James Ozanich, not simply Russ andJames. In addition, the same club recently hosted a night of square dancing atthe California State Fair a far cry from the closeted mindset of just adecade and a half before.

Interaction with the straight community is a subject thatis sure to garner a difference of opinions within every gay square dance club.Some feel that our clubs are an extension of the closet, a safe environment,where the possibility of an inadvertent outing should never be allowed tohappen. These same people fight tenaciously to minimize interaction with thestraight community at all costs. Indeed, some going so far as to have rulesabout visitors, that any visit must be approved by the board in advance.Others have no concerns about being outed, but feel that they have to deal withliving in a straight world during the rest of their lives, and prefer to keepto themselves so they can avoid having to spend any more time around straightsthan necessary. But today,aall gay square dance clubs interact to a greater or lesser extent with theirstraight brethren, the only question is how and how much.

Gay square dancing casts a very powerful spell, and thosewho participate often find themselves being more out simply by being part ofthe activity. No doubt this stems from gay square dancing being an extremelyout experience, albeit in a safe environment. Given that the line between gayand straight square dancing is a fuzzy one, when the setting becomes less gayand more straight, it seems only natural to continue the same behavior patternsrather than changing to new ones sometimes despite ourselves. I’ll neverforget the expression on a new dancer’s face when he found himself doing aScoot Back with a straight woman who was visiting the class. The look of terrorwhen he realized what he was doing half way through a nellie scream was simplypriceless. This same learned behavior, that of not acting differently in a gaysetting than in a straight one, tends to spill over into the rest of our lives.I know this is true as I’ve experienced this very evolution myself.

A few years ago, closer to my own coming out in ’92, thethought of going to a straight dance and dancing in a same-sex couple wasbeyond anything I would even consider doing. Yet a couple of years later, I’lldo it without giving it a second thought borrowing a slogan from our friendsat ACT-UP, We’re here, we’re queer get used to it! But my own version ofthis slogan for our straight square dancer friends is, We’re here, we’re queerand we’re lots of fun to dance with!

The closing days of the 104^th Congressfound Congress and the President falling all over themselves get the so-calledDefense of Marriage Act into law. Disgusting as it may be, it is not surprisingconsidering how ignorant straight America is of even the most superficialthings about what it means to be gay. Yet rather than place all of the blame attheir doorstep, we must look to ourselves for at least part of the culpability.After all, it is not their responsibility to seek us out, and considering whatpains many of us take to hide the gay facets of our personas from them, theywould be hard pressed to find a way to learn about what it means to be gay evenif they wanted to.

But then there comes along a group of gay square dancerswho not only do not hide, but in addition, allow them to see all of who we arein a very nonchalant and unconcerned way. They see us enjoying each otherscompany, giving a hug and a small peck when a new friend arrives. They overhearus talking about having to leave the dance early to care for a sick friend, andfind themselves genuinely concerned about the well-being of their new friendswhen someone that they’ve grown accustomed to see doesn’t come to the dance forseveral weeks in a row. We attend their events, and grouse about our spouses.Then they hear the stories about being dumped unceremoniously as well as theones about a special person we just met. After all, there’s no reason to hideafter someone’s gotten used to having their opposite 'lady' being 6’ 3", 225pounds and sporting a full beard (to say nothing of those big hairy arms).Casual interaction allows the misconceptions to fall away as a natural courseof spending time in each others company.

Dr. Lloyd "Pappy" Shaw, Principal of Colorado SpringsHigh School, developed modern western square dancing back in the late ’40s. Heknew the value of team activities, but didn’t like the competitive aspects thatare part and parcel of competitive sports. As his kids learning to rely on eachother to achieve the common goal of completing the routines, they also learnedto appreciate and respect each other as much for their similarities as well astheir differences. No doubt Dr. Shaw never dreamed that the activity hedeveloped for the purpose of getting his kids to get along better with eachother would have the same effect on the present day gay and straight squaredance communities, but it’s not hard to understand why.

During the gays in the military debate that consumed thecountry in early ’93, then Secretary of Defense Les Aspin, commissioned areport from the RAND Corporation to study the issue and make recommendations.The report advocated scrapping the ban, citing that it served no usefulpurpose. But the report’s recommendation for how to implement the policy changemakes an interesting comment on why the straight square dance community isevolving into such an enlightened point of view at such a rapid pace.

The report cited that the mission of the military is notto engage in social engineering, and that comprehensive sensitivity trainingoften creates the opposite effect with the very people it is intended tochange. Rather, the report recommended that 'unit cohesiveness' develops from asense of working together to achieve a common goal, i.e., deliver thesesupplies, take that hill, build this airfield, etc. Unit cohesiveness, and withit a sense of mutual respect, will develop as a consequence of the workingrelationship. In effect, we are living proof that both Dr. Shaw and the RANDCorporation were even more right than they ever dreamed possible.

When eight people join a square, they are in effectforming a team working toward a common goal. The 'unit cohesiveness' that wasdiscussed in the RAND report is demonstrated far more dramatically a squarethan in a working environment. Rather than relying on others to provideassistance every once in a while, in a square, the reliance is constant. It istherefore not surprising that the time needed for straight square dancers tocome around is so brief when measured against the rate of change in society asa whole.

A square dance is an oppressively heterosexualenvironment. The men stand on the left, the women stand on the right, men dothis, the women do that, the men wear one distinctive costume and the womenwear another. We’re beat over the head with it from the point of the firstglimpse of the dance hall right through the last thank you at the end of thefinal dance. Ergo, being gay at a straight square dance is as “in your face” asthe most outrageous thing that ACT-UP has ever staged, but in a completelynon-confrontational way.

We don’t march with placards, we don’t stage kiss-ins andwe don’t wear outrageous getups (well, at least no more outrageous than thetutus on steroids the straight women wear). What’s more, we tend to be prettygood dancers with respect to our straight brethren. And when we dance together,it’s obvious who it is that’s having the most fun of all. We are literally onthe front lines of the movement that will eventually win the full acceptance ofthe gay community within the larger mainstream society. Yet we are doing ourpart with very little in the way of yelling and screaming, and for the mostpart without even putting up so much as a bit of a fuss. All we do is go todances, be ourselves, and say, “May we join you?” — far more often than not,the answer is anenthusiastic, “Yes!”

Even more amazing is that we find this relatively easyacceptance in an activity that is predominantly comprised of elderly, white,blue collar, working class people, i.e., the toughest sell short of 100randomly picked people at a joint convention of the Christian Coalition and theKlu Klux Klan. Sure we have our problems, but they go away at an astonishingrate when compared to the glacial pace of the overall gay rights movement. Whengay square dance clubs join their local straight square dance associations, asmany have done, it is on their own terms. And since a place at the table on ourterms is the goal of the Human Rights Campaign, the National Gay and LesbianTask Force and the American Civil Liberties Gay Rights Project, it is no smallfeat that we have achieved this with a minimum of setbacks. Indeed, when nomore than a handful of years have gone by, it is the homophobes who discoverthey are the ones being ostracized, rather than the other way around.

I have no interest in a complete melding of the gay andstraight facets of our activity. I enjoy the gay square dance ghetto, and wouldfeel a terrible loss if it didn’t exist. But given the power of our activity toradically change the opinions of straight people about gay people, I feel verystrongly that it’s more than worth making the outreach effort. And as gaysquare dancers, we should do it, if for no other reason than we can. It mightevent be possible to make a case that as members of the gay community, it isour responsibility to do so.

When the Gay Men’s Chorus travels to choral competitionsthey have to make a real effort to interact with members of other choruses.When the gay masters swimming clubs go to masters swimming competitions, theirstraight competitors don’t have to even speak to them unless they decide theywant to (even if they do shower together). But as gay square dancers going to adance that is predominantly straight, someone has to make a real effort NOT tointeract with us. And there’s just no way to keep from learning something ifhalf way through a singing call someone’s wife is Promenading with the lesbianacross the square while the poor fellow finds himself doing his level best tofigure out just where he’s going to put his hands to Promenade the gay man whois presently wrapped in his arms for a Swing.

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